holding on

This past week has been one of the hardest weeks for me since school started, which is odd since we were out of school the whole week. I spent most of this past week alone, usually Jeremy takes off some time or works from home more when I am out of school but this week he was busy working at church getting ready for our new 360 service. I felt really lonely and isolated all week and I realized that this is how it will be in the summer if I don't have a job. I have really struggled with loneliness and doubt this week and I honestly think that an idle mind is the perfect place for satan to attack and I was being attacked this week. I was reading Beth Moore's blog one day last week and she posted these videos from the minister's wife conference and I felt like I could really relate to what a lot of these women were saying. I know Jeremy isn't a traditional minister and some of these things I have never even thought about but I do relate to a few of the things that these women wrote in.
I have really been praying for God to open doors and lead me to a job soon and I know it is early and I have said all along I don't want a job too soon because I want to be focused on the task at hand- ending on a good, positive note at ACA. My fatal flaw is that I am type-A to a fault and I have to plan everything in advance. In fact, if I could plan the rest of my life right now I probably would. This past week I was really feeling overwhelmed and anxious because I don't know what I will be doing in 7 weeks. I have faith that God will provide but my human nature wants to see results and progress in tangible ways and I wasn't seeing any. I was listening to the ipod as I was getting ready one day and this song came on by Aaron Keyes and I was really listening to the words and I walked over to the ipod to see the name of the song and it was Psalm 62 so I looked it up and I have found so much comfort in these verses the past few days
"My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation.He only is my rock and my salvation, My stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken On God my salvation and my glory rest;The rock of my strength, my refuge is in God.Trust in Him at all times, O people; Pour out your heart before Him;
God is a refuge for us."
I am holding on, waiting quietly for God to move. I know this is what God is trying to tell me. Buddy even preached about it on Sunday and the past couple of days God has brought to my mind times that I have waited, at times a long time, to see his plan revealed and his perfect timing come to fruit and I have to believe that this time is no different.
So, pray for me, pray that I will be patient and that God will give me a peace about the future and open doors when the timing is right.