the cat's out of the bag

I have been holding something in for quite a while but now I am ready to share...
I am not coming back to ACA next year.
I actually made the decision before Christmas break but the only people who have known are my family and Lindsey. I had to turn in my intent to return at the end of January but I asked my boss to keep in confidential so I could tell the people that mattered most- Kristen, Tracey and my yearbook staff. I told Kristen and Tracey when I turned in my form but I didn't tell my staff until today.
I have this weird relationship with these girls and I love them like my own and I knew it was going to be so hard to tell them I wouldn't be here next year so I have been postponing it. I wanted to wait until the yearbook was finished because I knew the day I told them would be a wasted class day. Then I wanted to wait for a day that they were all going to be here and so on. I needed to tell them soon because I couldn't risk them finding out from someone else so I decided over the weekend that today was the day. We have a short week at school and Jeremy and I are getting away this weekend so I did it. I told them today I would not be here next year.
It is always hard to get control of them because there are so many lively personalities and so much to talk about at the beginning of the period but today they quieted down pretty quick since I was being serious. At first when I said I had something important to tell them they thought I was pregnant and when I said no, that would be good news compared to what I am about to tell you Stephanie guessed it. I said, no I am not coming back next year and then the floodgates broke loose. I am going to miss them all like crazy and I assured them that nothing for this year is going to change, but I wonder if it will. One reassuring thing is that they said they will hate whoever takes my place. Ha! As good as that makes me feel, I don't want them to hate whoever replaces me. I want them to use all I have taught them and equipped them to do to make the next yearbook even better! And I honestly believe they can.
So many have asked me what I am planning to do. I don't know. I am trusting that God will open the right doors for what He has planned for me next. I truly know that I did not make a rash decision. I have spent so many days, nights and mornings praying about this and I feel like God has something else planned for me. I would love to pursue my love for photography professionally, or maybe something in design. I wouldn't mind doing layout or editing. Maybe even some feature writing. All I know is that I did make the right decision when I majored in journalism. I love it! I can't wait to see what God has waiting for me in this next phase of my life! (and if any of you get wind of a job opportunity let me know! I did quit my job the day 50,000 Amerians lost theirs.)
I am sad about leaving, but at the same time I have a peace about it. I have made some WONDERFUL friends here and I will miss them dearly, even more than I will miss the girls on my yearbook staff. I will miss going in to Kristen's room everyday after school and sharing all the crazy things that happened to us during the day. I will miss eating lunch with Tracey everyday (or most days, when she isn't subbing). I will miss hanging out with Kathy during snack. I will miss all the crazy banter that goes on in the teacher's lounge before and after school. I wouldn't trade my time at ACA for anything but it is time to move on. I won't miss the crazy parent emails, conferences and phone calls. I won't miss the heathen kids and disrespectful students.
I still have 12 more weeks and I am going to give it my all and finish out strong.